We Judge Before We Know Their Stories
Before we judge someone, based on their looks, take a minute to pause and reflect upon ourselves. No human was made perfect, so you have your own imperfections too. Often, when we look at a person, or their actions in a certain situation, we may not have the complete picture. We judge people and a lot of the time it’s our sisters, we need to stop this and implement this verse in our lives.
In the Quran, Allah says,
“O you who have believed, let not a people ridicule [another] people; perhaps they may be better than them; nor let women ridicule [other] women; perhaps they may be better than them. And do not insult one another and do not call each other by [offensive] nicknames. Wretched is the name of disobedience after [one’s] faith. And whoever does not repent – then it is those who are the wrongdoers.”
Before we judge others, we must work hard on fixing and perfecting ourselves. Instead of judging, we could politely ask the person, and try to understand their experiences and specific situation. If they are doing something wrong, there is a certain etiquette that we must follow when advising another person:
- Purify your intentions and ensure you are advising them to benefit them, rather than condemn them.
- Ensure that whatever the advice is, you are knowledgeable in that field. This will help with enjoining the good and forbidding the evil.
- Maintain privacy when advising someone. This is to avoid exposing the person, or making them feel uncomfortable in the situation.
- Consider a person’s condition and capability. The advice you give to a 30 year old should not be the same as the one given to a 5 year old.
Listen first, be patient, avoid making judgments and lead by example.